Monday, May 16, 2011

Which way do I go?

In a good way, I'm undecided on what to do with this blog.  I am still wanting to lose weight, and yet there are sooo many things that are calling to me!  So let me just share where I am at the moment:

My focus has been taken off of food competely.  I don't think about it.  I don't think about whether it's healthy or not, I don't think any more about it save I need to fix a meal for the fam.  OH I feel SO FREE!!!!  And my clothes feel a teensy bit looser.  (Of course the scale doesn't lie~maybe I should step on it just to see for reals!)  Instead my focus has been on living.  This change of mind is helping me with many issues, all across the board!  I can tell you that I look better.  That's always a plus, right?  And people are responding to me a bit differently more often than before.  In a better way.

Our house is also going through a facelift.  I have found the creative homemaking side I've been searching to discover for forever, and oh baby!  I now have a notebook of plans!  LOL!  And these fantasies of making my house my dream house have taken over all those eating thoughts.  PTL!

Then today I was visiting Mary G and read about how she's enjoyed the book Women, Food, and God.  I have not read this book, but just one quote spoke volumes to me:  

"It's not life in the present that is intolerable; the pain we are avoiding has already happened. We are living in reverse.  p. 40"  

I related to everything Mary had to say today, and I do mean everything!  And I was reminded of a conversation I had just today that inspired me to start a journal of letters...

I want issues to go away nicely!  And truthfully, some of that old, hurtful stuff isn't even worth revisiting with the party that offended anyway.  I like to write.  I am a gentle writer.  So I love the idea of a private, very private, journal where I can write my nice letters to those I'm harboring hurt feelings from so I can finally get it off my chest. And I would do it nicely, 'cuz that's who I am!  But that journal would be my voice to the world, even if the world never sees it.  

I think I'm kinda excited about this even...

Pushin' through the pain!  


  1. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate, but are dealing with things in a healthy way. I think a journal is a great idea, you should go for it!

  2. Do whateverr works for you, Pauline. Although, having said that.... I think you should add in thinking abut food in regard to "whether it's healthy or not" before you prepare it for your family. :} Really. Weight los or no weight loss, you want to make your family healthy meals.

    But I do understand the need to not obsess over food--even if it's to lose weight. It works against the goal of weight loss, doesn't it? In the end what we want is health and freedom.

    Head towards those two things, girlfriend, and it'll be all good. If the blog doesn't help you to do that, dump it.


  3. I read the book three months ago. There are parts I like and respect, find of value and then there are parts that I wish to rip out because I have already learned that they did not work in my journey. I borrowed the book from the library and returned it late. I am buying my own copy (and I will cross out the pages that lead me in the wrong direction ala 'take what worked and leave the rest behind."


  4. I love writing my blog, but I also keep a paper journal - the act of physically writing something is very cathartic for me. I definitely recommend it, as well as the Geneen Roth book. She talks so much about our past affecting our present, and this particular book spoke volumes to me. I also have her book "Breaking Free from Emotional Eating," but haven't read it yet - look for a review of that one next week, maybe! ♥

  5. We are doing the same thing with our house, it's exciting huh?
    I can't wait to hear your plans to rock your home and make it your own!!

    Get it girl!


  6. Glad you are finding a good balance in your life, Pauline!

  7. Deb, I was talking more about not worrying when I, personally, have the desire and partake of a cookie or sweet here-and-there. It is an honor to make healthy meals for my family! We have never been a soda/chip/fried family unless we've gone out somewhere, but that is not a frequent occurance. I found that counting calories had me ALWAYS thinking of the cookie though... :)

  8. Feeling free is so wonderful!!! I'm happy for you!

  9. Follow your heart & maybe journaling will help... sounds like you are happy & ready to start anew with "something". You will find it! :-)

  10. i am glad u r feeling free n looking better ( wolf whistle ...excuse me hehe )


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