In a good way, I'm undecided on what to do with this blog. I am still wanting to lose weight, and yet there are sooo many things that are calling to me! So let me just share where I am at the moment:
My focus has been taken off of food competely. I don't think about it. I don't think about whether it's healthy or not, I don't think any more about it save I need to fix a meal for the fam. OH I feel SO FREE!!!! And my clothes feel a teensy bit looser. (Of course the scale doesn't lie~maybe I should step on it just to see for reals!) Instead my focus has been on living. This change of mind is helping me with many issues, all across the board! I can tell you that I look better. That's always a plus, right? And people are responding to me a bit differently more often than before. In a better way.
Our house is also going through a facelift. I have found the creative homemaking side I've been searching to discover for forever, and oh baby! I now have a notebook of plans! LOL! And these fantasies of making my house my dream house have taken over all those eating thoughts. PTL!
Then today I was visiting Mary G and read about how she's enjoyed the book Women, Food, and God. I have not read this book, but just one quote spoke volumes to me:
"It's not life in the present that is intolerable; the pain we are avoiding has already happened. We are living in reverse. p. 40"
I related to everything Mary had to say today, and I do mean everything! And I was reminded of a conversation I had just today that inspired me to start a journal of letters...
I want issues to go away nicely! And truthfully, some of that old, hurtful stuff isn't even worth revisiting with the party that offended anyway. I like to write. I am a gentle writer. So I love the idea of a private, very private, journal where I can write my nice letters to those I'm harboring hurt feelings from so I can finally get it off my chest. And I would do it nicely, 'cuz that's who I am! But that journal would be my voice to the world, even if the world never sees it.
I think I'm kinda excited about this even...
Pushin' through the pain!